Before bringing a new cat into your home, there are several things to consider, and one question we’re often asked is whether to adopt a male or a female. The biological differences are apparent, but you may wonder whether there are more subtle differences that would make one sex a better fit for your family than the other. The honest answer is that individual personality matters far more than sex, but there are a few patterns worth knowing about—most of them tied to whether a cat has been spayed or neutered.
Both male and female cats make excellent companions. As vets, though, we think it’s worth understanding what does and doesn’t predict how a cat will fit into your home, because the last thing we want is for you to have to rehome a cat, which is painful for everyone involved.
A Note About Neutering and Spaying
This is where the clearest differences lie. Many of the behaviors people associate with male or female cats are really the behaviors of cats who haven’t been altered. Intact males are much more likely to spray urine in and around your home, to roam in search of females, and to fight with other cats—which also puts them at high risk of bite wounds, abscesses, and infections such as FIV. Intact females come into season repeatedly and vocalize loudly and persistently while they do.
Common behaviors in unaltered cats include:
- Urine spraying and marking
- Aggression toward people and other cats
- Roaming
- Excessive vocalization
- Attempting to escape
- Territorial aggression
Once your cat has been neutered or spayed—which we strongly recommend—these behaviors are far less likely, and the differences between the sexes become much less pronounced. Spaying and neutering also protect against a number of health problems and prevent unwanted litters.
What About Personality?
You’ll find plenty of confident claims online that males are more affectionate and playful while females are more independent and aloof. Some owners of several cats will tell you they’ve seen exactly that. Others will tell you the opposite, and the research on sex differences in cat personality is genuinely mixed—the effect, if there is one, is small and easily swamped by everything else about an individual cat.
What does shape a cat’s personality, as far as we can tell, is a combination of genetics, early socialization, and experience. A kitten who was handled gently and often between two and seven weeks of age tends to grow into a confident, people-oriented cat regardless of sex. A cat who had little human contact early on, or who had frightening experiences, is often more reserved—again, regardless of sex.
So if you’re hoping for a lap cat, or a playful cat, or a calm cat who’ll cope with long days alone, the sex on the paperwork won’t tell you much. What will tell you a great deal is spending time with the cat, and asking the people who have been caring for them.
How to Actually Choose
Shelter staff and foster carers see these cats every day, and they can tell you which ones seek out laps, which ones would rather watch from a shelf, which are happy with other cats, and which do better as the only pet. That information is far more useful than any generalization about males and females.
Questions worth asking about a cat you’re considering:
- Do they seek out attention, or do they prefer to approach in their own time?
- How do they react to being picked up and handled?
- How have they been with other cats, dogs, and children?
- How active are they, and how much do they play?
- Are there any known health or behavioral issues we should plan for?
It’s also worth being honest with yourself about your household. A busy home with young children suits a confident, sociable cat rather than a timid one. If you work long hours, a cat who is comfortable alone—or a pair who already get on—will do better than a cat who needs a lot of company. And if you already have a cat, their preferences matter as much as yours.
Let's Cut to the Cat Chase
Bringing home a new cat is a big deal, and it’s a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. The good part is that the choice is less complicated than it might seem: get to know a few cats, listen to the people who have been looking after them, and pick the one whose personality fits your home. Then have them spayed or neutered if they aren’t already, and you’ve dealt with the differences that actually matter.
If you’ve recently adopted a cat, we’d love to help you start them off on the right paw. Reach out to us today to schedule their first appointment!